Bare List on Rejection

“Have you ever been rejected?” asked a friend over dinner a few nights ago. “Yes,” I answered without hesitation. Her eyes widened with shock, not just because she’s an awesome and supportive friend who has always loved my work, but because to many people, books just appear. The outside world doesn’t see the struggle of writing: first drafts riddled with red ink, outlines crumpled in the trash can, rejection emails to fill an inbox.

Maybe my friend was shocked because I admitted my rejection so readily. Wasn’t I embarrassed? No. Rejection is a part of writing. In an objective field, a triangle builder for example (no, I don’t think that’s an actual profession but you see the point) rejection may be avoidable. Does it have three sides? Three angles? Congratulations! You’ve built a triangle. Bonus payout if it’s equilateral. Writing, though, is a subjective field. Criticism and rejection are inherent.

It’s totally understandable that my friend didn’t know this because the outside world and new writers don’t often get the chance to look behind the curtain. We hear stories of how 100 agents passed on Harry Potter, but all we see now is the billion dollar franchise it has become. We look past those “failed” queries because all that’s presented to us is the success. Few writers, myself included, talk about the rejections we receive. We will inundate you with news of our first publication or new release, but we are not posting those rejection emails on a daily basis. Which is why I’m talking about it now. Writing is rejection. Know it, accept it early, and respect it if you’re on the outside of the industry looking in. 

The rejection will begin as soon as you begin the journey to bring your work to the world. You will query agents who will not be interested in your work. Most likely, a lot of them. There is no exact number that you need to query, but most “experts” say at least 80 and I’ve seen up to 120 recommended. That’s a lot of rejections. Can you handle it? Yes, you can, because you’re a writer and that means having courage and resilience.

Even if you are of the lucky .01% that have your first query picked up, you will face rejection as a writer. Someone will hate what you create, and most likely they will be very vocal about their position. In fact, the more people love your work, the louder the voices of the haters will be. 

Rejection is the vehicle through which we improve our craft. Queries getting rejected? Revamp that letter. No one wants more than the five pages? Take a break to make those first five pages pop. Agents keep passing after reading the full manuscript? Take their feedback (there will be feedback if they’ve bothered to read your entire work) and put it to work. Popular critics panning your latest publication? Use their critiques to improve your next work (or ignore them, because, again, it’s a subjective field so you are not obligated to agree with them, especially if there are more critics lauding your words).

Most importantly, don’t take rejection as a sign of failure. Is it deflating? Of course. No one enjoys getting rejected, especially for something that we have given so much of ourselves to, but this is your opportunity to learn and grow. This is the “paying your dues” of the writing world, and honestly, being rejected makes being accepted all the more sweet.

So, writers embarking on a career in this terrifying field, embrace the rejection. Cherish it as a battle wound in a hard fought war, or check on openings as a triangle builder.

Have a rejection story? Share it because I promise, you are not alone.